Monica Robinson, Writer and founder of Positive Energy Poetry
It is my honor and my soul’s desire to share my story on my spiritual awakening and how it has changed my life. In sharing my story, I have to say that in my household it was a double whammy of a spiritual awakening. You see I can’t tell my story without including my son’s even more special awakening story. Our spiritual awakening miraculously occurred during the same period of time. I wish I could say that our story was all cakes and pies, but the truth of the matter is that it was a radical and difficult experience. If I could, I could liken it to dying. Loosing that ego was definitely no ride in the park. It was difficult, it was painful, it was gut wrenching, darn right scary, and what I can say was the most difficult of times that we had experienced in our lives. Looking back now, as scary as it was, we can both say we are thankful for where we are today, and baby there is no going back!!
So what is this spiritual Awakening phenomena?
If I can begin to describe, it is a true rebirth. It is a death of the ego, a self awareness. It is the realization that there is a higher consciousness that we can experience, and that we are all connected. It is knowing that everything in the cosmos (universe), planets, stars, the sun, the moon,earth, water, animals, people we are all connected. A feeling of great elation like no other as feeling connected to everything and everyone. More importantly, a connection with our higher consciousness which is a Godly connection. When you get to this state of mind, baby there is no going back!!
As I mentioned earlier, it wasn’t all cakes and pies. I was going through a very deep depression. I was taking medication and barely getting out of bed. Doing a normal daily routine had become as difficult as getting up and climbing Mt. Everest for me. My life just seemed to be falling apart. It was tumbling down like a mudslide, it was gut wrenching, it was hard, and it was not pretty. As for my son, he was going through some very difficult and stressful times as well. Our lives just seemed to be in a whirlwind. He also hurt by seeing me in such a depressed state.
It was a couple days after Thanksgiving, that it really hit at its hardest for us. My son had experienced insomnia for a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving. It had gotten so difficult for him that we ended up taking him to the hospital, where he was treated at the psych ward for about a week and a half. While he was in there, I received a phone call from my niece telling me that my mom was being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. Yeah, like I said no cakes and pies!! During this time, is when our journey of letting go of ego began. Seeing my son going through this made me dig deep like from within the deepest part of my stomach, like from my soul, and I forced myself to get up every day. I was no longer going to lay there in my bed so long as my son was not well. I got up, I cleaned up, I went about each day forcing a smile and forcing my way through the day. During this time, I can say if it weren’t for my anxiety/depression pills, I’m not sure I could have kept from losing my senses. At this point, I didn’t understand why we were going through this most horrifying time of our lives.
During his stay at the psych ward, my son was experiencing some things himself. He was talking so much about God and Godly things. I cannot say exactly what he was experiencing during this time. In the meantime, I cried, I prayed, I meditated, and I meditated some more. I felt like if he can get through this, I could get through anything.
It wasn’t long after he came out of the psych ward that I began experiencing enlightenment. I just felt a sudden lifting of burdens and a sense of awareness. A sense of connectedness to everything and everyone around me. I became more and more spiritual with a longing for a connection to my higher consciousness. It was then, after much more research to try and figure out what was happening to my son. I now understand that his psychosis was more to do with a spiritual awakening. I’ve learned that he is an empath that picks up on energies and has traits of a light worker as well. I can verify it because sometimes he would ask me why I was having so much anxiety as he lowered his eyebrows with a show of deep concern in his face. I could just be sitting still and quiet with my eyes closed in my living room and he still sensed my anxiety.
Like I said earlier, it wasn’t cake and pies. Depression is a serious illness and I recommend anyone that is experiencing it to seek medical care as well as to seek a spiritual connection through meditation. I’m thankful that for me, since my spiritual awakening, I haven’t had anxiety/depression and was taken off the medication.
How are we doing now?
I am happy to say that I am no longer depressed. I finally understand how to truly love God first and I’ve learned self love. My mom, she pulled through and is doing well. My son, he is doing much better. He is in a beautiful relationship and he is in a higher state of consciousness. He continues to go to therapy, which is especially important since he is an empath, and we are still learning more about empath triggers and ways to help clear energies. My son and I have a constant desire to remain in connection with our higher consciousness. We understand that there is so much more to life without an ego. That we are here to serve and to be a light for everything and everyone around us. We will continue to research and grow spiritually to better serve our purpose.
I truly hope you enjoyed this read as it came straight from my heart to yours!